Illegal Jesus

Ana Marie Cox: Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Bloggers

Posted in funny, imagination land, personal, political, television by writerwriting on November 26, 2008

via Ana Marie Cox: Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Bloggers

Okay, so I don’t live in Nebraska and I’m not in middle school, but I wonder if they’d let me join their club? I love Keith and Rachel and Ana Marie (though they would probably not let me in based on how smitten I am over Chris Matthews because ewwww he’s old or something).

Is it 5pm yet? Whoever decided to let everyone but the employees here leave last night should be shanked, and hard, by a big spoon.

The F Scale: Final form

Posted in funny by writerwriting on November 21, 2008

via The F Scale: Final form

Good news! I’m not a fascist!

P.S.
Why does Press This KEEP EATING MY COMMENTARY ON THE THINGS I PRESS?

DIAF.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Posted in human rights by indiegoddess on November 20, 2008

Oatmeal and Red States

Posted in Uncategorized by indiegoddess on November 20, 2008

There’s a secret to making oatmeal. I just haven’t learned it yet.

I went to bed in a country that elected Barack Obama president, and woke up in a state where my queer friends aren’t allowed to get married, and in the process, I broke a window shade, dealt with a disheartened Pachyderm (whose Noni determined there were to be no peanuts before bed,*) and obliterated the inside of a microwave with mushy, sticky, cooked oatmeal.

Now, at home, I almost have it down. I can put that 1/2 C of oats in, the 1 C of water, stick it in one of our $0.50 matching bowls from the thrift store (we got an entire set! of black plates, cups, saucers, mugs, bowls, dessert plates! for like $13.00! Sometimes being poor is good!) and stick it in the microwave for 2 minutes. It comes thisclose to boiling over, but then RIGHT WHEN IT’S ABOUT TO, beep goes the timer and fwoosh settles the oatmeal and HAZARD AVERTED.

My mom’s oatmeal says “COOKS IN 5 MINUTES!!” on the front of the package. Like this is a good thing. And no, don’t get me started on cookitallnightlong Irish Oatmeal, I’m talking basic every day oaty oatmeal. Five minutes. So I look at the description and it says to cook it at half power for five minutes. Half power? What the fuck is that? I’m motherfucking INDIE GODDESS and I do not do anything at half power.

Except cook my mom’s oatmeal.

So I figured out how to half-power her microwave – a complicated process involving a steam engine and several Clydesdales. I set it all up, then walked away to find my Sensodyne (yes, I’ve yet to finish unpacking. Today is a laundry day! What a college student am I?!).

I came back to the Apocalypse. Inside a microwave.

It’s all cleaned up now, never say I’m not a good daughter. And the broken screen is propped up on itself awaiting the masterful touch of Tobyhanna (she that used to rummage through my garbage for half broken pencils and put them right back in my desk can certainly fix an old screen, right? Right?

*Crickets*

Shit, I’m really fucked, huh?

The moral of this story, and there is one, I promise…The moral of this story is…My mother’s house is now broken. And the only thing that changed between yesterday morning and this morning was the presence of ME. Now, everyone says that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ, and that the apocalypse is coming (beep me), and that Seckrit Muzlimz are going to eat us in our sleep…

But know this. Never forget this (when I found you you were so slobbering drunk you couldn’t buy brandy!!) – For the last three years I’ve been living in a red state. Yes, we did the right thing. Yes, we could. Yes, we did. Yes, we went blue.

But after 30 years of being idiots in North Carolina, God still has a bone to pick with us.

Hence the oatmeal.

* Luckily, his Noni is not the be-all and end-all in Pachyderm peanut procurement.

best of craigslist : DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.

Posted in funny by writerwriting on November 20, 2008

the primary ingredient is something called “olean” which I have since learned is Latin for “Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease.”

via best of craigslist : DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.

Sorry Everybody?

Posted in political, the personal is political, the world by indiegoddess on November 18, 2008

I don’t know how many of you remember Sorry Everybody.

Sorry Everybody was a website that launched immediately after the 2004 re-election of George W. Bush. People took photographs of themselves holding up apologies to the world for putting the guy back in office.

I seem to recall their being a site dedicated to those Americans who had not voted for Bush, a sort of “We forgive you” from the rest of the world, or a “We’re sorry, too.” I can’t find it, but if I do, I’ll put it up here. [It’s called Apologies Accepted. [HT to Wearer of Hats for the link]]

There’s an epilogue of sorts up now, at the original site – Hello Everybody.

And now…Now there’s this:

Thanks, Americans!

Am I proud? Damn straight I am.

Yes, we did!

Prop 8 protest Raleigh NC

Posted in Uncategorized by writerwriting on November 17, 2008



Prop 8 protest Raleigh NC

Originally uploaded by madrigals

Here are my photos from the Prop 8 protest in Raleigh! It rained buckets, for a little bit, and we all got drenched and it was lovely.

Shakesville: My Thoughts About Melissa [PLEASE GIVE]

Posted in personal, the personal is political by indiegoddess on November 14, 2008

Sustaining Shakesville is a difficult task that falls solely on her shoulders. Contributors aside, Melissa bears all the responsibility. Her posts are what draw people to Shakesville. I think many people do not understand the amount of time, energy, and drudgery to post. While I follow a philosophy of just presenting information and letting the reader decide, Melissa takes the significant time to explain and present an understanding or counter argument that is absent on other sites. She cares about what she is writing. She holds true principles that even on a good day, I am not sure I could reach.

And she does it all for free.

via Shakesville: My Thoughts About Melissa

I do not have much, if anything, to give, but I have committed to donate at least 5$ a month. Any more than that and I plain cannot eat for the month. Yes, right now it’s that bad. But Shakesville gives me strength, hope and joy. It help me remember that we can, by coming together, make something POSITIVE happen in this world. Melissa McEwan is one of my role-models. I want to be more like her every day. My five dollars is paltry, but it’s a promise. Please, please, please consider donating – even one time, anything you can. She is going through a rough time now, she has more on her shoulders than she can bear, and as progressives, we need to reach out and help each other when we’re in need. I’ve seen amazing love shown by total strangers toward me in this community. It’s time I gave back.

American RadioWorks – Pueblo, USA

Posted in human rights, immigration, latin america, political by writerwriting on November 13, 2008

"I grew up being able to walk in and they all knew who I was, and I saw the same doctor," Pleasants says. "And now when you go in, there's 20 Hispanic families and kids everywhere and the lady up front speaks Spanish. I feel like I'm the minority and that does bother me. In a town that I grew up and raised my children in – it's like, 'Do you have Medicaid, do you have your papers?' I'm like, I've been coming here for 18 years. That frustrates me to sit in a room with all these Hispanic families, and I know their children need healthcare, too. But the change in the environment in the pediatrician's office is not like it was when you could just walk up to the window and say, 'Hey, so-and-so is sick.' It's just not what it was."

via American RadioWorks – Pueblo, USA

You stay classy, Siler City.

The New York Times – Breaking News, World News & Multimedia

Posted in funny, imagination land by writerwriting on November 13, 2008