State of the Union 2010

I’ll be liveblogging the SOTU, so check back when it and the rebuttal are over because this post will be updated!

But for now, wine and chocolate in preparation.

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I really liked Chris Matthews during the campaign. But now he’s just irritating.

ORSZAG! The Ladies’ Man….and we have a possible Rahm sighting. RAHMBO! I don’t necessarily agree with his politics but I love him because he will kill you with his stubby finger.

The First Lady looks flawless. Absolutely gorgeous. Here is a list of her special guests.

I love the ceremony of the SOTU. It gives me chills.

I like how this President shakes hands.

JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR!! HI!!!!! HI!!!!

Keith Olbermann (happy birthday!) keeps insisting he hates the word “zeitgeist” but he’s used it about 800 times in the last two minutes. And now Rachel Maddow keeps using it.

And here…we….GO.

After all the applause dies down.

He speaks! “Thank you…thank you….thank you….”

Pelosi: …the President of the United States
Biden: YAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *clap clap clap*

Biden smiles at Obama like a proud papa. I kind of totally like Biden, despite his gaffs.

Here we go for real.

I just took a deep breath. Of worry.

Busting out some history on our asses. I like to hear about history, so this is okay.

We chose to move forward as one nation and one people. We must (now) answer history’s call.

President: I took office when things were crazy messed up.

“One year later, the worst of the storm has passed. But the devastation has remained.” Indeed.

Small towns, small businesses, etc., have suffered greatly. The poor are poorer. People can’t save and he knows the anxieties of the people.

Children write him letters and they make him sad. “For those and many others, change has not come fast enough.”

People are tired of the partisanship, the shouting, and the pettiness. Damn straight we are. Get something done, you guys. You can’t just push against the people you don’t like when the actual PEOPLE are floundering.

Mr. President, I get the focus on children but what about those of us who don’t have children and are still struggling to get by? The childless of America matter just as much as those WITH children.

Standing O #1…for being hopeful about America’s future. Give me a reason to be hopeful, Mr. President. Please.

Economy (don’t clap, you dumbasses) is first on the chopping block. “We all hated the bank bailout.” LOLOBAMA. Cracking wise during a SOTU.

Can I get some of that recovered money? Because I could use like….a very small amount of it.

A fee on the banks! If they can charge me fees, then we should be able to charge them fees. I AGREE WITH THIS. They don’t need to be handing out big bonuses…bonuses for what? Sticking it to the American people? Ugh.

Standing O #2

Tax cuts what what! 95% of Americans received tax cuts.

Standing O #3 because we love us some tax cuts

Income taxes have not gone up, folks. My paycheck is about $20 less than usual because my health insurance premiums went up. OH YAY HEALTH INSURANCE. LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT.

The Recovery Act has made the tax cuts and job creation possible. Recovery Act aka STIMPAK.

Ugh Cantor and Boehner.

Yes but a lot of people have been laid off and it’s terrible for them. I am very lucky and very blessed.

However….time for sad stories. Which are very sad and very serious and jobs will be our number #1 focus in 2010. He’s calling for a jobs bill. This is good news! I know far too many people without jobs.

No seriously you guys. I’m very, very blessed.

Let’s see some help for (btw, I lost track of the standing Os) small businesses. I have a number of friends and acquaintances who have had to shut their businesses. Let’s help them get it all back, Mr. President!

Proposing that $30 billion of what the banks have repaid be given to community banks to help small businesses stay afloat.

He’s going to build us all up and get us all happy and then he’s going to talk about shit that’s going to make me go RAAWERKJAFJ ASDFJ;SFJSDF S;LFJAS;LDKFJSF

INFRASTRUCTURE.

Hell yes, high speed rail! Clean energy! Rebates for energy efficiency! HELL. YES. Stop outsourcing jobs. If you think undocumented workers are to blame for a lack of jobs, look at the businesses who are shipping the jobs out.

The House has passed some…something I admit I wasn’t paying attention just then because I was drinking wine.

He wants a jobs bill on his desk immediately. The only way to full employment….oh…here comes the part I might not like? Idk idk…blah blah blah Bush administration blah blah blah slow economic growth blah blah housing bubble blah………….how long should America put its future on hold? Well, if the GOP has any say in the matter, AMERICA CAN WAIT FOREVER. Oooh he brought out the big guns…rub China’s growth in their faces…that will do the trick! No. For real. It will.

USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!

Did Stephen Colbert write that section? WE’RE NUMBER ONE! WE’RE NUMBER ONE!

You folks need to sit down, pull your thumbs out of your mouths, and get shit done. Period. Because we are paying for your petty squabbles.

ORLY OBAMA? WILL YOU? WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT WITH HEALTHCARE?? (Send back a bill for reform that doesn’t get it right.)

Safe clean nuclear plants! Friends don’t let friends use coal. Just sayin’.

He said the magic word! OIL! The GOP likey.

Biden is all rubbing his hands together, like “Ohhhh yeah baby ohhh yeah!”

Profitable clean energy? SURELY YOU JEST.

The climate change thing got a laugh. Here’s lookin’ at you, Inhofe!

More exports = more jobs
He wants to double our exports over the next five years, creating 2 million jobs in America. What do we export now? I’m too lazy to look it up right now.

“Farmers and small businesses”…do you mean small farmers as well? Because corporate farms can gtfo.

Joe Biden, I like your tie. And your teeth.

Indie Goddess: And Cuba. Let’s get some sugar back in this country.

Improve our schools? Whaaaat? Reward success? Whaaat? Help students excel? Turn around failing schools? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS WE DON’T NEED EDUCATION IT IS FOR ELITIST LIBRULS~~~~

No shit you can’t get a good job with just a high school diploma. Revitalize community colleges! That’s what I’m talking about. And ohh lol affordable college? There is no such thing anymore.

“No one should go broke because they chose to go to college.” SO. MUCH. THIS.

But what about people who don’t have “families”? What about renting, childless families? WE NEED HELP, MR. PRESIDENT. WE ARE GOING BROKE.

Here we go. Healthcare reform. What is REFORM to you, Mr. President? Are you going to continue to let some people screw us? PEOPLE ARE DYING. Ffs.

This is currently the biggest issue in our household. We ARE in financial ruin, thanks to health issues and unaffordable health care that covers NOTHING.

Oh, epidemic childhood obesity. Whatever. Moving on.

Michelle Obama is NOT pleased.

MOVING ON.

You take the blame? WHAT? Well, I accept your sort-of apology. But let’s get back to how you’re going to fix this mess. Because our lives are being ruined by companies who don’t give a shit about us. (DEBBIE WASSERMAN-SCHULTZ! I LOVE YOU)

Please just do something. Please. Make sure mental health and women’s reproductive health get ample, affordable coverage. Please to not be throwing us under the bus again.

I haaaaate health care talk because it makes me so angry. UNIVERSAL COVERAGE. END OF STORY.

That is truth and I support it. Obama had nothing to do with that deficit. Clinton gave us a surplus and Bush destroyed it.

Tough decisions families are making in America: honey, do we keep the power on or do we buy groceries?

(Yo, my elbow hurts you guys! I think I’m sitting at a bad angle.)

I missed something there about vetoing budgets or something or blah blah blah.

Solutions for Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security. I remember my grandma being all YOU’RE GOING TO SPEND MY SOCIAL SECURITY BLARGH!! and I was like lol grandma I won’t GET social security. heh

Spending freeze. The thing that made me angry yesterday! At least it isn’t starting until next year? Oh idk. TAX AND SPEND, TAX AND SPEND, TAX AND SPEND.

Obama, you’re so cute when you’re all hopeful optimist…”Let’s try something new! Let’s use common sense!” So presh.

Oooh, good one. “We face a deficit of trust.”

I missed whatever that was that made people grumble and disagree.

Yeah, WAY TO GO, SUPREME COURT. That was the stupidest effing thing you have ever done in the history of the world. /hyperbole Special interests are going to rule campaigns now. Why would we even bother voting? Ugh.

Publish all earmark requests! TRANSPARENCY! I like this and it’ll give McCain something else to twat about on the Twitter machine.

Obama realizes he is not Jesus. I am a little scared of the people who ever thought he was.

THANK YOU, MR. PRESIDENT. THANK YOU. We are paying for those grudges and stalling tactics, you PUBLICLY. ELECTED. OFFICIALS.

I like that he is all “Now children, start playing nice or so help me, you will be breaking a switch off the tree in the backyard.”

Attention Democrats: DO YOUR FUCKING JOBS. For once in your lives.
Attention Republicans: Stop being douchebags.

“We work here to serve our citizens, not our ambitions.”

And here we go on homeland security.

We’re filling gaps, foiling plots, not torturing (orly?), etc., etc.

We support the troops! And we want them to come home safely now, plzkthnx. Veterans definitely need more help and the issue of women veterans and sexual assault in the military. AND MENTAL HEALTH. For all veterans.

Secure nuclear weapons! But if we get them, every should have them. Every country deserves second-strike capability. It makes no sense to let Israel have nuclear weapons but be all lol no Iran u can no has oops Israel just blew you up!

While I typed that, he talked about stuff I didn’t catch. I’m bad at this. It was way more fun to liveblog the debates.

YAY HAITI! YAY REBUILDING HAITI!

“America must always stand on the side of freedom and human dignity.” Well, can we get to that then?

Civil rights talk! OVERTURN DADT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO MR. PRESIDENT GO! REPEAL REPEAL REPEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY SO DON’T SAY ANYTHING MORE ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!! (How about a time frame, dude?)

Fuck yeah equal pay for an equal day’s work!

Fix immigration? lolwhat it isn’t broken~~ Can we fix xenophobes and racists, too?

I love that parts of his speech are lectures telling Congress to stop being big babies. IT’S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE TOLD THEM.

This is all well and good, Sir, but it’s time to stop talking and start working.

“We don’t quit. I don’t quit. Let’s seize this moment.”

God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

Initial thoughts: nothing surprised me, really. Obama continues to disappoint in all the places he disappointed during the campaign. So really, if I look at things that way, Obama is doing just as well as I expected. But that’s kind of a lie, since I thought perhaps his election would ignite the Democrats and we’d get some stuff done. What was I thinking? The Democrats continue to disappoint.

It’d be nice if he said more about DADT than “I plan to repeal DADT!” Because you know what, closing Gitmo and repealing DADT were the first two things he said he was going to do. And lulz, guess what? I know some people will argue that there are more important things going on that need attention but seriously, repeal DADT. There are good, patriotic men and women who are being kept from serving because of DADT.

And oh…my…god. Chris Matthews just said “I forgot for an hour he was black!” *facepalm*

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REBUTTAL TIEM NAO

Virginia governor Bob McDonnell.

“Hello, I’m Bob McDonnell, the founder of McDonald’s. Er…governor of Virginia.”

Talking unemployment….and not saying much so far. He wants to create jobs.

The federal government is trying to do “too much”. Debt, tax breaks, blah blah blah.

Freezing discretionary spending is laudable step but small step. He said something there and I missed it and zzzzzz.

This guy is a tool.

How are we supposed to BUY this health insurance, Mr. Governor?

Indie Goddess has her fingers in her ears and is humming REALLY loudly, so I can’t hear what he’s saying. It’s all a bunch of “this administration is doing it wrong, etc., etc., and we want to do it better! And here is our vague plan.” (Which is similar to the President’s plan for DADT. CWIDT?)

Okay kiddos, time for bed! Or just…not this. If you made it all the way through, then you deserve cookies!