Privilege
So, Marianne lost her temper on the internets over this post about privilege. Marianne says it a lot better than I probably can. But you know, I’ll give it a shot. I am, after all, half owner of this blog!
I’ve been trying to articulate what about the original post rubbed me the wrong way. It feels like bragging. It feels like an absence of acknowledgment that other people do not have, will not ever have, her privilege, and that in that absence, she does not care that other people do not have, will not ever have. I have a friend who isn’t concerned with health care reform because he’s young, healthy, and has insurance. It doesn’t affect him. He can’t understand why I’m so affected by it, because I am young, relatively healthy, and have insurance. The original post makes me feel a lot like my friend’s comments make me feel when we discuss health care reform.
I could be misunderstanding the point of the OP’s post, and I invite her to clear up any of my misconceptions here. But I think Marianne is right. Acknowledge your privilege, but don’t be a douchebag about it.
indiegoddess
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Hi, I’m the author of the post you are talking about.
Until recently, I have not really ever thought about what privileges I may have. I wasn’t really bragging so much, as acknowledging everything that I have. I have not always had these things, but I felt no need to justify my post by talking about my sucky childhood, or the 7 years I spent as a single parent.
Obviously not everyone is going to agree with what I wrote, as evidenced by the reaction so far. And that’s ok.
Bianca, thank you for letting me know. Examining privilege is messy and hard work, but necessary. And you were right, there’s nothing anyone can do about their privilege. But there’s something I think everyone can do, at least a little, to keep their privilege from further oppressing and disregarding other groups. If that makes sense. English is hard tonight.
Thank you again. I really do appreciate your input. It’s an important conversation!
I honestly do not see anything in my post about oppressing or disregarding other groups. As I said I was just acknowledging my stuff. Others may see it differently.
So the Bitch (and I mean it in a good way) is listing what she’s grateful for. Maybe not in the way you guys agree with but who hasn’t, privileged or not had a hard ass life in one way or another?
Besides, Bianca’s waaay cool even though I am TOTALLY jealous of her hot ass privilege!!
I was SO thinking of that comic. XKCD is love.
I am a member of one of those oppressed groups that Bianca is apparently disregarding, and I saw nothing wrong with her post. She is bluntly stating that she has a good life right now and will probably not experience any unpleasant situations someone that I, a 300 lb biracial woman may experience.
She is far from a douchehound, and quite frankly, I think that term needs to die a quick death in FA.
@lifeonfats First of all, I didn’t say she was disregarding or oppressing anyone. My response to her in comments was a general response I’d tell anyone when discussing privilege. And as far as the quality of her life, she does have a good one. And she will continue to do so as a white person (less so as a woman), no matter how dire her circumstances. She will always have privilege (unless, god forbid, she becomes homeless, in which case I think the rungs of privilege are very, very closely spaced but that is another post all together).
Why should douchehound die a quick death just in the FA community?
I think the term is overused myself, but that’s just my humble opinion.
I get the acknowledging thing. I just don’t get why Bianca said she wouldn;t change it — I mean obvs I wouldn’t like to have fewer privileges than I do have (or advantages or whatever you want to call them). But saying you don’t want to change them combined with a ‘mine is better than yours’, even if meant to be funny or ironic, makes it sound more like a privilege race or competition. I have tonnes of privileges, but I would really like it if Things About The World And How People Behave could change so that the privileges were more evenly spread around — I imagine that’s also something Bianca might think was good to aim for. But her post doesn’t really say anything about that… the whole thing just struck me as a bit ‘yeah my life is better than lots of others [less easy past or more easy past notwithstanding] and yeah life is less good if you have fewer privileges [because mine are better!] but whaddya want me to do about it?
I don’t know. I get sarcasm, I get that there was plenty in that post, but it just felt a little misplaced to me — it’s not like we’ve fixed all the problems of power imbalances in society so now it’s ok to laugh about how privileged we/a person might be. Maybe a better question would be about how to help the people who have plenty of privileges/advantages but do deny them to recognise where they’re getting cut all the breaks and what damage that does — that’s where the exclusion happens and it’s not that Bianca was doing the excluding, she was just helping those that do do the excluding a ‘pass’ to continue. ‘After all, can’t do owt about it can you?’ Sigh
I’ll start this out by saying that I believe acknowledging privilege is unnecessary. We have all had it shoved down our throats (especially those who spent a great deal of time in the deep south) that, in being white, we are privileged. By having disposable income, we are privileged. Being male is another privilege. Being heterosexual is yet another.
Honestly, there is nothing I can do about my privilege. I sure as hell won’t be ashamed of who I am and where I came from. Someone who screams “But you’re PRIVILEGED!” intends to make me feel that way.
There were always ‘power imbalances’ in society. There always will be. There will always be oppressed people. It’s the ‘You VS. Me’ dynamic. It is a human trait – a survival mechanism, to protect the ‘tribe’.
Not to say that we shouldn’t try to change things. But first we have to acknowledge human nature. Societal Homogenization will do no one any good…it’s just a Communism of a different color.